Hang up the phone MORON.

One of the things in the world that gets me fired up quicker than anything is inattentive driving. If you want to send me to Pluto and back combine inattentive driving with a smartphone or some other gadget while you are driving next to me.

Which brings me to my next point:

Hang up the phone MORON.

You might ask me: "Charles, what has you so fired up about this today?"
Well, I thought you'd never ask...

Everything about this topic has me steaming mad today. Did you know that Chrysler has even come up with a concept car for Millennials that takes selfies and sends them to their phones? Someone please tell me what the hell is so important inside a damned car that you have to take a picture of it and share with the world while said vehicle is still in motion and you are driving it. Trust me, it can wait.

Case-in-point is my encounter with SEVERAL drivers on their cell phones last night while going out to dinner with my family. I was behind the wheel. My wife does not drive and I quite frankly don't blame her. There are a lot of nuts on the road. She wants to start driving and the #1 thing I tell her is: "It's not you that you have to worry about while driving. It's everyone else out there on the road." That is just as true today, maybe even more so, than when I was first taught that lesson nearly 20 years ago.

So this first MORON that nearly killed my family last night did so at a gas station along the busy highway I was driving on. A highway, by the way, that has one of the highest mortality rates in the entire state of Virginia. If you were looking for a roadway to use your phone or device on while driving, this roadway is not the one - I can assure you. Going back to how the moron almost killed me...they pulled right out in front of my little SUV travelling at highway speed. Did my horn dissuade them from doing this? Nope. Did my warnings of my vehicle's prescence grab their attention? Nope. Did they decide they had made a bad choice by pulling out directly in front of a moving vehicle? My vehicle, the only one in site? Nope. Did they even notice me as I slammed the brakes and swirved to avoid smashing into the back of their barely moving vehicle - nearly flipping my own vehicle in the process? Nope.

Do you know why this fool, who got their driver's license from a cracker jack box, never even saw me or heard my horn? I'll give you three guesses and the first one is the phone that was in their hand. That's right. As I swirved by them, horn blaring, their eyes were cast straight down - one hand on the wheel - with a damned smart phone in their hand. They never even knew I was there. I sure hope whatever was on that phone was important enough to kill three innocent people over. Must have been really riveting stuff for you to read it while operating a 4,000 pound piece of machinery.

The sad part is you were PARKED waiting at the gas station to enter the highway when you did this to me and no one was waiting behind you. That means that not only are you a MORON, but you are an inconsiderate ass as well because you could have continued using your phone in a safe area and deliberately chose not to. I wonder how this person would have felt to wake up from a coma to find out they had killed a family of three due to their selfishness. Would the gravity of such a thing even register to someone so self-centered?

There were plenty more drivers like this along my route to dinner last night. Sadly, too many to mention with all too easy to spot poor driving characteristics. The one I'm about to tell you about, however, takes the cake. In all the years I have been driving this was my first encounter of this kind. Did you know people take selfies while driving? Yeah, apparently that's actually a thing you have to worry about now. To make a long story a lot shorter I'll break the highlights down:

-The vehicle was swirving between lanes

-We were in a construction zone

-It was night time

-After I got around them I saw the camera flash light up the cabin of their vehicle

-I eneded up riding beside them after we caught the same exit off the highway

-I almost got side swiped

-Bitch actually had the nerve to roll down the window and yell at me while I was blaring my horn because she was halfway in my lane about to collide with me

-She couldn't even put the phone down long enough to yell at me

-Apparently I was in the wrong judging by the expression on her face

Seriously folks, this kind of stuff is maddening. If you haven't got the memo on distracted driving there is an entire government website dedicated to the topic. I think it's sad that I live in a world where my central government actually has to take the time to dedicate resources to combat a problem that should be a pretty easy one to avoid. The fact that cell phone companies even need to tell you to pay attention to the road is a true indicator of the depth of the problem. I will summarize what all the articles and resources say about it:

Hang up the phone MORON.

In case you are wondering why I am so testy about the subject, other than the fact people on the road keep trying to kill my family and I, take a moment to check out my friend's website. There are more than enough sad stories to go around. Just remember, the distracted drivers who didn't make it aren't here to tell you their story. A bad situation CAN AND WILL inevidebly happen to you if you don't give your full attention to the road. Distracted driving is a game of odds and those odds are statistically stacked against you. It's only a matter of time before you hurt yourself or someone else. So, please:

Hang up the phone MORON.

1,161 people are injured in crashes that are reported to involve a distracted driver each day. Source

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